If you’ve spent any time in a doctor’s office or a prenatal yoga class, you’ve likely been told that the holy grail of pelvic health is the Kegel. We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we simply “squeeze and lift” enough times, we can prevent prolapse, stop leaking, and magically “snap back” after birth.
But as a coach specializing in the core and pelvic floor, I have a controversial truth for you: For many women, doing isolated Kegels is not only ineffective—it might be the very thing keeping your core from healing.
In our blog on the first six weeks postpartum, we touched on the importance of the Reconnection Breath. Today, we are going to do a deep dive into the why. We’re going to look at the pelvic floor from the perspective of a pelvic physiotherapist to understand why “just squeezing” is a flawed strategy, and why the breath is the only way to truly reclaim your strength.
The Myth of the “Weak” Pelvic Floor
When we experience symptoms like urinary incontinence (leaking when we sneeze or jump) or a heavy sensation in the pelvis, we are told our muscles are “weak.” The logical response? Work them harder. Squeeze more.
However, in the clinical world, we see a massive percentage of women who don’t have “weak” (hypotonic) muscles, but rather hypertonic (overactive) muscles.
Imagine your pelvic floor as a trampoline. To work correctly, the trampoline mat needs to be taut but bouncy. It needs to move down when you jump and spring back up. If the springs are too loose, the mat sags (weakness). But if the springs are pulled so tight that the mat has zero “give,” the first time someone jumps on it, the springs will snap.
A hypertonic pelvic floor is like that over-tightened trampoline. If your muscles are always “on”—perhaps because you’re constantly sucking in your stomach or trying to do Kegels all day—they have nowhere to go. When you cough, sneeze, or lift a child, the muscle is too tired and too tight to react. The result? Leaking and dysfunction.
Why Isolated Kegels Aren’t “Postpartum Recovery”
Postpartum recovery is the process of reintegrating the Core Canister. This canister is made up of four parts:
- The Diaphragm (The top/lid)
- The Transverse Abdominis (The sides/corset)
- The Multifidus (The back)
- The Pelvic Floor (The bottom)
In a healthy system, these four parts move in a perfect, pressure-managed dance. When you inhale, the diaphragm drops and the pelvic floor must lengthen and expand to accommodate that pressure. When you exhale, they both lift together.
An isolated Kegel breaks this dance. By squeezing the pelvic floor while your breath is shallow or your ribs are flared, you are essentially trying to fix the plumbing in the basement while the roof is caving in. You aren’t teaching the system how to handle the pressure of a squat, a run, or a toddler’s tantrum. You’re just teaching one muscle how to cramp.
The Danger of the “Grip”
One of the most common issues I see in my “busy mom” clients is Abdominal Gripping. Because we want to “look” fit, we often walk around with our belly buttons pulled to our spines.
This constant tension creates a “pressure trap.” Since the pressure can’t go out through your abs (because you’re gripping them), it is forced either up (contributing to shallow, anxious breathing and “mom rage”) or down (putting constant, heavy pressure on your pelvic floor). No amount of Kegels can out-train the damage caused by 16 hours a day of incorrect pressure management.
The Solution: The Reconnection Breath (Your #1 Tool)
The Reconnection Breath isn’t “just a breathing exercise.” It is a neuromuscular repatterning tool. It is the process of telling your brain and your body: “It is safe to let go.”
True strength starts with the ability to fully relax. If you cannot fully lengthen and relax your pelvic floor on an inhale, you cannot generate a powerful, functional contraction on the exhale.
This is why the Reconnection Breath is the foundation of every single workout in the Hub. It’s why we don’t start with planks and crunches. We start with the breath because if the pressure isn’t managed at the breath level, every other exercise is just putting “stress on top of dysfunction.”
Deep Dive: Mastering the Nuance
As a postpartum health expert, I look for three specific things when a client is “Reconnecting”:
- Ribcage Expansion: Are your ribs moving 360 degrees like an umbrella opening, or is your chest just moving up and down?
- Pelvic Release: Can you actually feel the “bloom” or the “drop” of the pelvic floor as you inhale?
- The “Zip” vs. The “Squeeze”: On the exhale, are you just squeezing your butt cheeks, or are you feeling a gentle “zipping” sensation from the pubic bone up toward the belly button?
These nuances are the difference between “doing an exercise” and “healing your body.”
Mastering the Skill: Video Guides Now Live
Because this is a physical, felt experience, I knew that words on a page wouldn’t be enough. Inside the Hub, I have created specific video guides designed to take the guesswork out of your recovery. These aren’t just “workouts”! They are deep dives into the mechanics of your body.
In the Hub, you’ll find:
- Specific Reconnection Tutorials: I break down how to find your pelvic floor without “gripping” your glutes or holding your breath.
- Core-Focused Workouts: These sessions are built around the Reconnection Breath to ensure you are building strength that actually translates to your real life as a mom.
- Nutrition & Lifestyle Support: Beyond movement, we tackle the “Mom Brain,” hydration, and hormone support that traditional fitness apps ignore.
The Holistic Wellness Hub is designed to be your “digital sanctuary”—a place where you can get in, get the expert instruction you need in under 10 minutes, and get back to your day feeling stronger.
Experience the Shift (7 Days on Me)
I want you to experience what it feels like when your core actually works with you instead of against you. You shouldn’t have to guess if you’re “doing it right” or settle for outdated advice that doesn’t respect your biology.
I invite you to explore the Hub and see the difference for yourself. You can access all of our Core Reconnection Videos, our targeted workout library, and our full collection of nutrition guides through a 7-day free trial.
This is an opportunity to move past the “bare minimum” and start building a foundation of true, functional strength. Spend a week with me, watch the tutorials, try the 5-minute flows, and see how much more capable you feel when you finally master the mechanics of your own body.
If your pelvic floor is already overactive or “tight” (hypertonic), adding isolated Kegels can increase tension, leading to more leaking, pelvic pain, or pressure. The Reconnection Breath is safer because it focuses on the full range of motion—relaxation and contraction.
You can usually begin gentle diaphragmatic breathing within the first 24–48 hours after an uncomplicated delivery. It is a low-intensity way to begin healing without putting stress on your tissues.
Leaking is often a pressure management issue, not just a weakness issue. If your “Core Canister” isn’t synchronized, the pressure from a cough or jump goes straight to your bladder. The Reconnection Breath retrains that timing.
How To Do Your First Reconnection Breath
- Get Comfortable
Lie on your back with knees bent or sit tall on a firm chair.
- The Inhale (The Bloom)
Breathe in slowly through your nose. Imagine your ribcage expanding 360 degrees and your pelvic floor gently “blooming” or softening like a flower opening.
- The Exhale (The Zip)
Breathe out through pursed lips (like blowing through a straw). As you air out, imagine a gentle lifting of the pelvic floor and a “zipping up” sensation from your pubic bone to your belly button.
- Avoid Gripping
Keep your glutes and jaw relaxed. The movement should be internal and subtle.
